Blog #002 .... Self Care & Setting Boundaries do you?
Aug 13, 2024
4 min read
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“Self-care” what is it? I’d never heard this until recently and now I’m seeing it everywhere …. It was first mentioned in conversation when talking to a health care professional that X didn’t self-care today. I was struck how profound that link was between a person’s mental health & whether they brushed their hair and got dressed that day or not. How does it make us feel when we “self-care” and how do we feel when we don’t?
On a deeper level it made me wonder is there a connection between the routine everyday acts of self-care and how we create & maintain bigger boundaries in life?
I was thinking about my own morning rituals, how important they are to me and how I feel after doing them. The very basic act of brushing my teeth first thing in a morning is like nothing on earth and makes me feel fresh and ready for the day, getting dressed for work when working from home sets my mood to productivity. The 5 minutes stretching makes me feel energised, walking the dog makes me feel connected to nature, taking time to make myself a great coffee, writing my to do list for the day. All the lovely routine things I do every morning.
Some of these acts are so ingrained I don’t view them as self-care, they give me a sense of being in charge of my day and that gives me the confidence to step out knowing what I want to achieve.
When I don’t do my everyday acts, I feel off balance, the day runs away with itself, and I get very easily distracted. It gets to the end of the day, and I feel annoyed I haven’t achieved anything.
When I thought about this more deeply, I realised these small acts are the foundations to creating bigger boundaries in everyday life. When I’m actively self-caring I’m more motivated and more likely to honour my boundaries.
Women we’re always juggling with balance, whether its childcare, caring for aging relatives, work or social life. We feel like we can’t say no when people ask for our help even if it’s at the detriment of our own need. When it comes to helping ourselves in self-care, do we?
Creating what seem like really basic self-care routines is at the core of establishing boundaries these ingrained daily acts that we take for granted, can help us create routines that define our boundaries. When we do this regularly it can support us to create healthy boundaries to protect ourselves, they uphold our mental, emotional, physical well-being and create a sense of confidence we are taking care of our own needs.
When we let our boundaries slip, life seems to happen to us reacting to each thing that comes our way, we end up knackered burnt out and feeling quite resentful at other people who seemingly have it all wrapped up! Rather than directing our life where WE want to go. We say YES when we don’t have time or mean it but feel guilty that we should help (“what would they think of me…?”) and we put others needs ahead of our own. Missing out on hobby time, personal appointments, catching the on-time train or just some good ole peace & quiet.
When we ask ourselves, "Did I self-care today?", we're putting a spotlight on our needs and well-being.
Building Confidence and Strong Boundaries
When we practice self-care consistently, we create a circle that continuously strengthens our boundaries. A good mood and well-being from regular self-care enables us to set healthy boundaries, which in turn allows us to practice self-care to do the things we want to. Boundaries and self-care feed off each other, creating a great cycle of reinforcing personal well-being and resilience.
Here's some Tips for Strong Boundaries and Self-Care Practices
1. Identify Your Needs and Limits: Reflect on what makes you feel happy and healthy. Understand your limits and make a note of the things that drain your energy.
2. Communicate Clearly: Be clear and direct when communicating your boundaries to others. Use "I" statements to express how you feel and what you need. For example, “I need some quiet time after work to relax".
3. Practice Self-Reflection: Regularly asking yourself "did I self-care today?" keeps you accountable for your well-being. Use a journal to track your self-care habits and how you feel each day.
4. Set Boundaries Without Guilt: Remember that setting boundaries is not selfish; it's a necessary part of self-care. Don't feel guilty for prioritising your well-being.
5. Develop a Routine: Create a daily or weekly self-care routine that includes the things you like to do and any physical, emotional & mental health activities. Stick to it create consistency.
6. Enforce Your Boundaries: Don’t be afraid to enforce your boundaries when necessary. If someone continues to disrespect them, it’s okay to distance yourself from that person.
7. Self-Compassion: Be gentle with yourself. Understand that it's okay to make mistakes and that building strong boundaries is a process.
8. Seek Support: Building strong boundaries can be challenging. Talk to your friends and family about how you feel and why you need to implement self-care boundaries.
By starting with small self-care practices and building upon them, you can create a reliable routine that boosts your confidence and helps you set and maintain healthy boundaries. This circle of self-care and boundary-setting can help to live a more balanced and fulfilled life.
How do you currently incorporate self-care into your daily routine? I’d love to hear from you, comment or drop me a mail.
karen@thefoundationstudio.co.uk
#selfcare #boundarysetting #busybusy #maketime #empowerment #lifecoaching #womenslifecoach